What happened with ‘lovin’ angels instead’ Robbie? Most would know now about British pop singer Robbie Williams’ UFO fetish. As a bit of a nut when it comes to things from outer space myself, I commend him for being so public about his new love affair.
Apparently his obsession led to the break-up of his last relationship and he has just recently paid £7-million for a country estate said to be criss-crossed by “ley lines” — invisible mystical energy routes believed to attract UFOs.
That quality publication The Sun reported that “his mansion, set in 71 acres, is also bang in the centre of crop circle country — and just yards from an HQ for thousands of people who investigate the field indentations every summer”.
With that said, here’s a selection of seriously good serious movies involving aliens and/or UFOs Mr Williams could really enjoy …
7. Signs (2002)
Directed by M. Night Shyamalan
Starring: Mel Gibson, Jacquin Phoenix, Rory Culkin.
An interesting take on the old invasion of Earth scenario, exclusively from the view of a mid-west family. Gibson’s Reverend Graham Hess, his brother Merril (Phoenix) and kids, Morgan (Culkin) and Beau (Cherry Jones), are terrorised by these aliens who use the family’s corn field as a landing strip.
From self-proclaimed ‘master’ of twists and turns, director M. Night Shyamalan (The Sixth Sense), it is gripping, but a little outrageous all the same (I mean potty-mouth, chain-smoking, two-timing Mel Gibson portraying a preacher … c’mon).
The aliens, each seven-foot tall, are capable of flying billions of miles through space, but can’t knock down a couple of wooden boards. And what’s with not liking water? Isn’t it the key to life or something? If Williams ever comes in contact with these ETs, maybe he should take them out on a bender – no water, just spirits.
“Yes, it said they would probably invade. They wouldn’t use their technology, or fight in airborne battles, because they know eventually we would use nuclear weapons, and the planet would be useless to them” – Morgan.
6. E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982)
Directed by Steven Spielberg.
Starring: Henry Thomas, Drew Barrymore and Dee Wallace.
The film about everyone’s favourite little alien who gets stranded on Earth. It’s kind of like a warped extra-terrestrial version of Home Alone. Though Home Alone was probably more the warped human version of ET, if come to the conclusion Macauley Culkin is in fact human.
Anyway, ET gets taken in by a little boy called Ell-ee-ot, who, after deciding that he’s ‘keeping him’, helps him escape the clutches of a government task-force, and ultimately get back ‘home’.
Who didn’t shed a tear at the end of this film? Betcha Robbie did. After all, he probably felt a little like ET when he got dumped from boy band Take That. Both of course have the last laugh. Another pop star Michael Jackson, who is also treated like something from outer space, is among ET’s biggest fans. Jackson apparently owns one of the ET puppets used in the movie. It’s only a rumour he sexually assaulted it.
“He’s a man from outer space and we’re taking him to his spaceship”- Elliot.
5. The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951)
Directed by Robert Wise.
Starring: Michael Rennie, Pat Neale and Billy Gray.
The first great sci-fi film, and the first to take a serious look at why aliens might be paying us a visit – in this case it is to warn us about what will happen if we keep trying to destroy ourselves and possibly others in the galaxy. It’s a movie with a message.
The alien of the piece, Klaatu (played by Michael Rennie) lands in a big shiny flying saucer and has got a big shiny robot called Gort that fires laser-beams if you piss him off. Though it’s a little campy in places now, I’d imagine it was pretty scary at the time.
Klaatu’s arrival in Washington DC (not New York, like in the recent remake) was met with the same type of welcome Williams normally receives when he visits there. Gun-happy armymen shoot him.
“It is no concern of ours how you run your own planet, but if you threaten to extend your violence, this Earth of yours will be reduced to a burned-out cinder. Your choice is simple: join us and live in peace, or pursue your present course and face obliteration. We shall be waiting for your answer. The decision rests with you”- Klaatu.
4. The Abyss (1989)
Directed by James Cameron
Starring: Ed Harris, Michael Biehn and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio.
Something a bit more intense for Mr Williams here from master director James Cameron, in which the crew of an underwater oil rig witnesses strange occurrences deep beneath the ocean.
These occurrences turn out to be caused by aliens are more accustomed to getting around in UWOs (Unidentified Water Objects), as opposed to UFOs. They were planning to destroy mankind because we were destroying mankind, through war and other atrocities. They just wanted to do it quicker via massive tsunamis around the world.
They end up having second thoughts thanks to a sacrificial act by Ed Harris’ character, Virgil ‘Bud’ Brigman. The movie features Oscar-winning special effects ahead of its time.
“Have some new friends down here. Guess they’ve been here awhile. They’ve left us alone, but it bothers them to see us hurting each other. Getting out of hand … They want us to grow up a bit, and put away childish things. Of course, it’s just a suggestion” – Bud.
3. Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1978)
Directed by Steven Spielberg
Starring: Richard Dreyfuss, Terri Garr and Bob Balaban.
Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi epic and fore-bearer to ET: The Extra-Terrestrial. The movie did as much for UFOs as it did for mashed potato.
Having had his own close encounter of the first kind – seeing odd lights – and becoming obsessed, Williams should be able to appreciate what Richard Dreyfuss’ character, Roy Neary, goes through. Neary’s close encounter is so close he gets sun-burnt. As well, the aliens are musically-minded so it should strike a chord with the pop star. The ending is a bit like Deliverance’s ‘Duelling Banjos’.
Although they look friendly enough, the little stick-figure extra-terrestrial visitors have been abducting humans for over 30-years, including children. Of course, it’s all for the greater good of the universe … isn’t it?
“… I don’t think we could have asked for a more beautiful evening, do you? Okay, watch the skies please… We now show uncorrelated targets approaching from the north-northwest” – Project Leader for the UFO welcome party.
2. Contact (1997)
Directed by Robert Zemekis
Starring: Jodie Foster, Tom Skerritt and Matthew McConaughey.
‘If you build it, you can come’, is the message from an unknown alien race to Jodie Foster’s scientist Ellie Arroway in this film directed by Robert Zemekis from a novel by Carl Sagan.
Dr Arroway, working for SETI, receives radio signals from outer space that she must decipher. They turn out to be an instruction manual for a giant machine that will transport her to … some fake beach where she is visited by her dead father?
Okay, if you can get past the uninspiring ending, and the two leads Foster and McConaughey, it’s a pretty intelligent film, if you’re into this sort of stuff like Robbie is. It delves into the whole Creation v Evolution debate too.
“So it turns out there’s life on other planets. Boy, this is really going to change the Miss Universe contest, you know what I mean?” – Jay Leno.
1. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
Directed by Stanley Kubrick
Starring: Keir Dullea, Gary Lockwood and William Sylvester.
The sci-fi film of all-time. No, make that the film of all-time. It involves a highly intelligent alien civilisation we never see, but know exist from their calling card, massive black monoliths. Directed by the great Stanley Kubrick from a story by legendary writer Arthur C Clarke.
A couple of pills beforehand could really enhance Robbie’s viewing pleasure (not that I condone such things), especially during the real psychadelic moments near the end.
While actions of killer computer HAL steal the show, the overall premise of the film is about how we humans were given a little push along in development by beings from outer space … or was that another dimension? Anyway, Robbie, if you’re reading, it is brilliant.
“Now that you are in Jupiter’s space and the entire crew is revived it can be told to you. Eighteen months ago the first evidence of intelligent life off the Earth was discovered. It was buried 40 feet below the lunar surface near the crater Tycho. Except for a single very powerful radio emission aimed at Jupiter the four-million year old black monolith has remained completely inert. Its origin and purpose are still a total mystery” – Dr Floyd (Sylvester).