Sep. 17, 2009 | Action, Comedy, Horror, Lists, Movies | |
37 Vampire Films That Really Do Suck
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It is constantly regenerating. A new vampire flick is a hit in theatres and every movie studio executive and his dog rushes to try and cash-in on the success, even if it means serving up something as tasty as bat shit I guess killing the original vampire movie and making all of the others disappear wouldn’t work.
Of course, it all started with the great Nosferatu, made way back in 1922, in Germany, and featuring Max Shreck as the not-overly attractive Graf Orlok aka Count Dracula.
The vampire movie continues today bigger and … well, we might leave it at just bigger, than ever with the Twilight series.
Eight years after that original silent movie masterpiece came two more films based on Bram Stoker’s classic 1897 novel, both simply called Dracula, one with Carlos Villarias in the title role and the other with the legendary Bela Lugosi.  Â
The man who would make the character of Dracula his own however, appearing as him 10 times throughout a long and busy career was Christopher Lee. It began in 1958, with the somewhat over-used title of Dracula, and ended 14 years later, with The Satanic Rites of Count Dracula. He would though star as another Count, Dooku, in Star Wars Episodes II-III (2002 and 2005), despite being in his early 80s.
Lee was quoted as saying, “I stopped appearing as Dracula in 1972 because in my opinion the presentation of the character had deteriorated to such an extent, particularly bringing him into the contemporary day and age, that it really no longer had any meaning.”Â
He might have been referring in particular to the work of John Carradine, the father of the recently deceased David (Bill of the Kill Bill series). John didn’t play Dracula as much as Lee, but featured in more vampire films in total, over a period of three and a half decades.
It all started innocently enough, with House of Frankenstein (1944) and House of Dracula (1945), in which he did play the Count, but in traditional settings, alongside horror greats Boris Karloff and Lon Chaney Jnr. Â
Carradine however would ultimately bring life to Dracula, and other bloodsuckers of his ilk, in any time, any place, as you will see on this list. He journeys to the American West, gets into the ring with Mexican wrestlers, and becomes a pimp in the Philippines. Crazy stuff.
It’s hard to believe but there have been much worse vampire movie atrocities than anything Carradine has had a part in. Some of the worst have come in the last few years, most notably after Wesley Snipes started kissing goodbye the creatures of the night as Blade, or Tom Cruise started kissing Brad Pitt as Lestat in Interview with the Vampire.
Of course, stay-tuned for much more blood-thirsty studios being behind a bevy of vampire films oozing crappiness in the very near future, not least of all the sequel to the one that started the latest craze, Twilight.
This list is brought to you by Rogue Joker, using the resources of The Internet Movie Database, and includes those ‘vampire’ films that have rated the poorest. I sure as hell don’t profess to have seen many of the films – and I’m not sure I would want to. It’s more of a warning.
So, here they are, the vampire movies most in need of a stake to the heart …
Check out the videos -Â There’s some absolute shockers!
Aug. 9, 2009 | Action, Movie News, Movies, Science Fiction | |
Gamer Spielberg says Halo to new project
Steven Spielberg’s love of gaming may soon be felt on the big screen in a big big way. The Hollywood heavyhitter is said to have his sights set on bringing the popular Halo to life.
Now, unlike Spielberg, I’m sure as (Read more. . .)
Aug. 8, 2009 | Fantasy, Movies, Previews & Trailers | |
Trailer takes us back to Gilliam’s world
WHEN Terry Gilliam is directing anything can happen – in front of or behind the camera. Creative is one word to describe the former Monty Python member. Unfortunate is another.
Gilliam has brought us some of the most extraordinarily visionary pieces (Read more. . .)
Jul. 23, 2009 | Action, Fantasy, Movies, Previews & Trailers | |
Hex likes a Fox in new comic adaptation
IT could be the new Beauty and the Beast. But really this is Jonah Hex, the latest comic book character to be adapted for the big screen.
We have Josh Brolin starring as the disfigured anti-hero of the old West, the (Read more. . .)
Jul. 22, 2009 | Drama, Movie News, Movies | |
Weight over for Christian Bale’s latest role
Christian Bale is set to star in a remake of Jason and the Argonauts – as the skeleton army. Nah, just kidding. But, if there is one actor who could pull it off without the use of CGI it is (Read more. . .)
Jul. 21, 2009 | Movies, Previews & Trailers, Thriller | |
Looking forward to visiting Shutter Island
Just like he did with Robert De Niro for many years, Martin Scorsese is building up quite a powerful partnership with Leonardo Di Caprio.
The director teamed with De Niro for Mean Streets (1973), Taxi Driver (1976), Raging Bull (1980), Goodfellas (Read more. . .)
Jul. 17, 2009 | Horror, Movie Reviews, Movies, Thriller | |
Midnight Meat Train takes no passengers
CLIVE Barker hasn’t enjoyed a hell of a lot of success in recent times when it comes to how his stories have been adapted for the screen.
The horror author’s works provided the basis for a string of feature film hits (Read more. . .)
Jul. 11, 2009 | Action, Movie News, Movies, Science Fiction | |
Reynolds gets Green light from Warner
In an interesting move, Warner Bros. has given the much sought-after role of The Green Lantern to Ryan Reynolds.
The former sit-com star who has been slowly but surely making a name for himself on the big-screen in a variety of comedy, (Read more. . .)
Jul. 6, 2009 | Action, Comedy, Drama, Fantasy, Lists, Movies, Science Fiction, Thriller | |
11 Useful Corpses From The Movies
We’ve seen plenty of dead bodies in films throughout the years but most of them are really just for ornament value. The stiffs featured here know how to earn their keep in their respective movies, serving a genuine purpose in all manner (Read more. . .)
Jul. 4, 2009 | Movies, Previews & Trailers, Science Fiction, Thriller | |
Surrogates gives life to futuristic thriller
The Surrogates is the latest feature film about to be released that has been adapted from the pages of a comic. And allows its star, Bruce Willis, to wear hair again
Having recently seen the first trailer for this sci-fi/thriller that (Read more. . .)
Jul. 4, 2009 | Movie Reviews, Movies, Thriller | |
No Vacancy allowed for pathetic Wilson
Luke Wilson, what the hell are you doing man!? You really need to have a serious talk to your agent.
It’s not enough that Owen’s little brother with the unusual jawline is being confined to the depths of hell that (Read more. . .)
Jun. 30, 2009 | Movie Reviews, Movies, Thriller | |
Sick, twisted, Funny Games is enjoyable
Funny Games is a disturbing, and at times frustrating and infuriating, but overall entertaining thriller, which is probably just the result German writer-director Michael Haneke wanted.
A scene-for-scene remake of Haneke’s own original 1997 Austrian-made version, it stars two seasoned campaigners (Read more. . .)
Jun. 30, 2009 | Action, Movies, Previews & Trailers, Science Fiction | |
Daybreakers more appealing than Twilight
I AM not one who has jumped on the whole Twilight bandwagon. In fact, I won’t be too upset if I go through the rest of my life without ever seeing the film I’m led to believe is about horny (Read more. . .)
Jun. 30, 2009 | Action, Movie Reviews, Movies | |
Wanted film adaptation has desired effect
What would The Matrix be if you replaced Laurence Fishburne with Morgan Freeman and killer machines with daddy abandonment issues?
The answer is Wanted. And while it doesn’t quite match the epic nature of the aforementioned sci-fi classic, it does have (Read more. . .)
Jun. 29, 2009 | Horror, Movie News, Movies | |
An American Werewolf in Remake … Sadly
REMAKE is becoming a real dirty word. Just about every time I hear it these days I shudder. ‘Shit, what next?’ I think to myself. What movie next will those unimaginative, unoriginal Hollywood producers get their mitts on. Well, now (Read more. . .)
Jun. 26, 2009 | Action, Actors & Actresses, Comedy, Lists, Movies, Romance, Thriller | |
11 Not-So Shakespearean Actors Doing Shakespeare in 11 Not-So Shakespearean Movies
Almost 400 years after his death, the work of The Bard, the great William Shakespeare, continues to be adapted for the big screen at an amazing rate – by all and sundry.
Rarely will a year go by without some Shakespearean (Read more. . .)
Jun. 22, 2009 | Action, Movies, Previews & Trailers | |
G.I. Joe looks explosive, but will it bomb?
I was a massive toy collector when I was a young fella in the ’80s. But, I never got a G.I. Joe action figure. I was more of a Masters of the Universe or Transformers fan.
I never even saw a (Read more. . .)
Jun. 22, 2009 | Family, Movie News, Movies | |
Latest remake should be a real howler (meaning a laughably stupid blunder)
TEEN Wolf looks as though it will be joining the painfully long list of movies getting the remake treatment.
It has been reported that Warner Bros. is looking for writers to do-over the1985 cult hit starring Michael J. Fox as a (Read more. . .)
Jun. 17, 2009 | Action, Movie News, Movies | |
Crowe in driver’s seat of new Robin Hood
Looks as though director Ridley Scott is putting a new ’spin’ on the legendary Robin Hood tale with his own upcoming big screen adaptation. Out are horses, and in come … jeeps?
This is the latest picture snapped during filming on the Russell Crowe-driven blockbuster that (Read more. . .)
Jun. 13, 2009 | Action, Movie News, Movies | |
Mickey just whip it, whip it real good
You would expect Mickey Rourke to be a bit more capable than Jeff Bridges when it comes to kicking some ass. And it looks as though it will be the case in the Ironman movie series if this shot of (Read more. . .)
